A wedding is more than a ceremony and reception. From parties before the day of the big event to the honeymoon, the coming together of two people in marriage is a true event. Traditionally, women have had bridal showers in addition to their bachelorette parties. Bridal showers were once meant for the bride and close female friends and family members, but as traditions change and we see more same-sex weddings, we also see some of the pre-parties taking on new meanings. With a few key differences, throwing a same-sex wedding shower isn’t much different from throwing a bridal shower.

Decide Whether The Same-Sex Wedding Shower Will Be for One or Both Partners

Some same-sex couples will choose to keep with the tradition of having just one partner be the guest of honor at a wedding shower, but other couples will choose to have a joint party. Talk to the couple to decide how they would like to handle the event before making other plans, as the guest list and size of the venue will depend on their answer.

Make a Guest List

If the couple wishes to be more traditional, the guest list should only include close family members, friends and the wedding party. However, they may wish to do something more unique and invite others. The choice is up to them but will determine the size of the venue you need. If there is a set budget, inviting fewer people may be more practical. Never invite someone to the wedding shower who will not be invited to the wedding.

Choose a Date and Venue

Choose a date that is between one and three months before the couple’s wedding day. When it comes to a venue, you may want to research which local spots are same-sex friendly, as some businesses will be against hosting such an event. While this isn’t exactly fair, it also probably isn’t something the couple wants to deal with during a happy time. Depending on the type of party you’re planning, a nice restaurant, hotel ballroom or even a park are all good locations for the event.

Decide on a Theme

While a theme isn’t required for a wedding shower, many couples decide to do one as a way to add a little extra fun. From mild to wild, there are plenty of themes to choose from that will fit nearly any couple’s style.

• Chef’s shower
• Massage and spa shower
• Fill the bar shower
• Choose your own theme

Pick Food and Entertainment

Choosing food depends on the time of day and the venue. If you have the shower at a restaurant, you will likely be expected to pay for meals. At other venues, you can choose to provide a full meal or simply serve appetizers and dessert items. Entertainment also depends on the venue and time of day. At a park, you can play lawn games such as horseshoes or croquet. Restaurants may have their own entertainment or allow you to bring in a violinist or someone else non-disruptive to guests in the main area.

Hire Help for Your Same-Sex Wedding Shower If You Need It

Depending on how many people are invited to the wedding shower, you may find you need to hire help such as caterers, servers or, if there will be alcohol, a bartender. At the very least, you will probably want to hire someone to clean up afterward, unless you’re sure you won’t be too tired to do it yourself after the day’s events.

Once you have everything planned, be sure to send the invitations in time for people to plan adequately. You can choose to send them via the postal service or online invite, but be sure to ask for an RSVP either way. Send invitations between six and eight weeks before the date of the event. This ensures as many people as possible can show up and have fun celebrating the upcoming marriage.